I had arrived in the locker room at Easterseals early one morning. I went to take my shoes off, and suddenly was thwarted by the tiniest of knots in one of my shoestrings, which prevented me from untying them. For what felt like eternity, I attempted to extricate the black, chorded strings, annoyed that with all the tasks that lay ahead, this seemingly simplest of one wasn’t happening.
Truth be told, it wasn’t the first time that this tiny, tight little knot had caused me problems. But each time, instead of making the extra effort to free the knot altogether, I had hastily made do and moved on with my more “important” tasks. But as I was sitting there this particular morning, wishing that my fingernails could summon a miraculous separation, it dawned on me:
Our lives are full of little knots.
So often, there are many situations that fester, not because there aren’t reasonable solutions available, but because for various reasons, we don’t take the time to address them. Maybe we feel too pressed by more “critical” matters or maybe the strong emotion they evoke repeatedly leaves us choosing avoidance. Maybe we’re afraid that we’ll put effort into improvement, and still fail in the process or even worse, that it will create more headaches instead of relieving them.
Whatever the reason for bypassing means of resolution, the reality is that festering situations can create much more than just fleeting annoyance, like a repeated car noise leading to someone being stranded on the roadside. Consider the example of a conversation long avoided about a conflicting matter between two loved ones. We might feel that in “keeping the peace” we are doing what’s best only to find out that over the long-term, the price paid is less intimacy and greater disillusionment.
Whatever creates the repeated unease, the “knots” can easily give way to “nots” that reduce our ability to find joy and peace. The nagging “knot” of a parent’s dysregulated outbursts means I will not have the kind of relationship I want with my child. The “knot” of just avoiding a conversation with a pushy coworker means I will not enjoy my job as much as I want. The “knot” of sliding into two hours of daily doomscrolling means I will not find the time to do more life-giving things.
It’s reasonable to bypass the knots of life. Until it’s not.
